No Pie In The Sky

Robin Malone is a very successful business woman whose world is in complete and perfect control...that is until life happens. Follow Robin as she takes a whimsical journey through the pitfalls and joys that come along with carving out her place in life.

Her best friend Melanie is a refreshing comedic outlet when perfectly planned details go haywire. However, there is little that friends or loved ones can do when Robin is haunted by secrets that resurface from her past. She is forced to relive horrors that she’d tried for years to bury and nearly loses her own life in the process.

You’ll howl in laughter at her unrealistic expectations of a perfect world, and feel her pain as she deals with the grief of losing someone dear to her. She is as endearing as she is naïve, and it is this innocent charm that will steal your heart away.

Chapter 1

All you have to do is give the attendant your ticket, find your seat and relax. The flight will be over before you know it. Oh, who am I kidding? I hope I don’t pass out as soon as I set foot on this plane. Imagine that: CEO of Real Estate Investment company passes out and is somehow sucked into the engine of an aircraft. Hell, I'm sure I wouldn't be the first person to suffer from Flightophobia, or whatever the proper term is.

Now boarding rows 12-17, blares over the loudspeaker.

Well, that’s me. I can do this. I'll just put one foot in front of the other, take a few deep breaths and walk calmly down the aisle. How bad can it be? I've done this a million times before and haven't died yet, so this time shouldn't be any different...at least I hope it won't.

As I hand my ticket to the flight attendant, I notice a familiarity in his face. His smile is warm and infectious as he greets me with the whitest teeth I've ever seen. He bears a nagging resemblance to someone in my past that I can’t quite put my finger on. After looking down at his well manicured hands --with shiny, clear polish-- I realize exactly who it was.

Metrosexual Mike. That was my secret nickname for him anyway. We met at a party I'd thrown for the groundbreaking on one of my new buildings. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him the whole night, and there was something electric about the way the words fell from his lips as he spoke.

One of my investors was a good friend of his and we were introduced on the basis of possibly networking. But as I looked him over from head to toe, work was the last thing on my mind. By the end of the night, we’d exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet up sometime for lunch.

Hefty career demands don't leave me much time for socializing, and I've sort of attracted a reputation for being uptight and not having an open mind when it comes to having fun and letting loose. My friends and co-workers are under the impression that I actually prefer to go home and work rather than entertain the notion of having a personal life. Well, they’re right, but I wouldn’t dare tell them that. With Mike though, I made a vow to open up and enjoy myself-- for one day at least.

As it would turn out, I needed more than an open mind to deal with the likes of Metro M.

Our lunch date ended up turning into dinner, and he'd prepared it all himself. When I arrived at his place, I was pleasantly surprised to see him standing at the door dressed in all black and looking like he’d just stepped out of a men’s clothing catalog. He was very charming and suave, even more so than what I’d remembered of him before. Immediately I sent a text message to my best friend Melanie telling her not to expect me home early that night.

He’d prepared a beautiful meal, and we had it picnic style in the middle of his living room floor; complete with a blanket and basket. He’d put a half chicken on the grill but made a separate meal for me of grilled chicken breast because he knew I didn’t eat chicken on the bone. With it we had fresh fruit, potato salad and an array of different cheeses and wine.

He was actually a very good cook. The meat was tender and seasoned with exotic herbs and spices. The flavors seemed to burst into my mouth enticing my tongue with each bite. His mother was an herbalist, so he wasn’t raised on meals cooked with the usual salt and pepper seasonings like I was. He wouldn’t say exactly what each spice was, but only that they were used commonly in different countries. I was very impressed and my empty plate proved it.

 After we’d eaten dinner, he told me not to move and that he’d be right back. When he returned, he was holding a warm washcloth, and used it to gently wipe my hands. He said that for the rest of the night he didn’t want me to lift a finger and to be completely relaxed--and I was.

We sat on the floor and talked for what seemed to be an eternity. We actually had a lot in common judging from his conversation and the way he decorated his home. The décor was rich with auburns and bronzes and splashes of burgundy or burnt orange here and there. The master bedroom however, was the coup de grâce.

In the center of the room was a chestnut sleigh bed adorned with throw pillows and a beautifully embroidered down comforter. Hanging on the walls were black and white photos of him in his former days of print modeling. Black chiffon draped from each frame, which seemed to accent the dreamy look that he portrayed in each shot. Across the room was the walk-in closet, and it was absolutely immaculate. His pants hung on one side with shirts on the other, all color coded and neatly aligned. 

After the tour, we looked through old photo albums and high achievement awards that he’d received in college, while we polished off the remaining wine. My phone vibrated wildly with text messages from Melanie, trying to get details on how things were going. Politely, I switched my ringer to silent, and focused my attention back to Mike. I would update Melanie later on all of the steamy details - and I hoped there would be plenty of details to give!

I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but we ended up snuggling on the faux rabbit skin blanket that he had draped over the back of the chocolate leather sofa.

 It was so cozy being in his arms. I began to relax more and more as I nuzzled into his chest. Mike was a very athletic man who took very good care of himself. This was all the more evident when he slid his shirt off, revealing perfectly chiseled abs and broad shoulders. Even more confirmation was his toned and solid back that I wanted to cling to like a life raft. I was actually surprised by how gentle and tender he was, considering.

Before I could tell him how much I admired the view, he wrapped his arms around me and carried me to his room. Gently, he laid me on the bed and placed a red scarf over a lamp, creating perfect mood lighting. I lay there listening to Marvin Gaye’s “I Want You” play softly in the background while a single votive candle flickered dimly across the room.

I took in slow, deep breaths as his fingers caressed my lips, teasing me with anticipation of what was next to come. Mike turned to me and placed his hands delicately at the nape of my neck, lifting my head from the pillow to bless me with kisses on every open space all over my face and body. I took him in my arms and returned each kiss while enjoying the twinges of pleasure that jolted his body in response.

Then, it went downhill from there.

We were lying in each other’s arms with fingers intertwined when I noticed something different about his hands. They were…smooth? Why are his hands so smooth? I tried to put it out of my mind and focus on other things but I couldn’t. It felt -like I was touching myself! And I could not get over the fact that his body smelled like mango. A man shouldn’t have soft hands and smell like mango!

Warning flags started going up inside my head while bells and whistles blared. I took a moment to closely reexamine the situation: He had a closet cleaner than mine, cooking skills that paralleled Betty Crocker, and if the crease in his pants was any sharper, he'd have cut his knees clean off!

He must’ve seen the strange look on my face because he looked down at me and said, “What’s the matter Robin?” What could I possibly have said to him: you act like Paris Hilton living in Rambo's body!

I was so completely turned off that I just wanted to get as far away from him as I could, and fast! Every woman knows that when a man turns you off, there is little that he can do to bring the magic back without drastic changes immediately. The more nauseated I was each time I got a whiff of mango, the more apparent it was that Mike didn’t stand a chance of getting any that night. I quickly needed to think of a reason to leave, because he was starting to stare.

“I’m sorry Mike. It’s just...my grandmother. She’s in the hospital and they’re not expecting her to pull through, so it’s really hard for me to think of anything else right now.”

Oh Lord, please forgive me for lying and Nana you forgive me too!

“Robin, why didn’t you say something about it sooner? You know I would have never taken you away from spending time with her.”

I felt like I should’ve turned on the crocodile tears for a little added dramatic effect, but I’m a horrible liar and he would’ve seen right through it. I just needed to stick to the sad act and make it believable so I could get the hell out of that man’s apartment.

“Well Mike, you’re such a sweet guy and I know how concerned you would have been. I didn’t want to bring it up and put us both in a foul mood. I think at this point though, it’s better if I just leave to go be with her.”

“You shouldn’t be alone at a time like this Robin. I’ll come with you.”

“No! Uh, I mean um, no Mike, I’ll be fine. I just need to be alone with her. I appreciate you though for being so thoughtful and supportive. You’re such a sweet, sweet man.”

Literally! I chuckled to myself.

  “Alright, well at least call me once you get there. I’ll say a prayer for her Robin, and of course I’ll say a prayer for you too.”

I hoped he wouldn’t actually get around to saying that prayer, because I’d be on my way straight to hell as soon as that lie made its way up to God’s ears!

“I’ll be fine Mike really.”

“Ok, but one last thing before you go,” he said.

What does he want now? Maybe to share a couple of beauty tips and yak it up with some girl talk!

“Sure Mike, what is it?”

“A kiss?”

I looked at his lips and almost threw up a little in my mouth. I’m not sure when he even found the time to do it, but at some point he covered his lips with shimmery lip gloss. It couldn’t have been from me kissing him because, I don’t use lip gloss, I use lip balm. And besides, mine doesn’t even shine let alone shimmer - and I ate it all off when we had dinner. But there he was, standing there looking like he should be the lead in a Cover Girl Wet Slicks ad!

This has got to be God’s way of paying me back for telling that fat lie. I simply had to suck up my pride and take one for the team and one for my Nana too. I slowly walked towards him with my feet dragging and head hung slightly, and put my best face forward--rather than the one currently repulsed.

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me so close that I could smell the sweet wine on his breath that I’d let him taste from my lips earlier. As his face moved in closer, I saw how well-defined his eyebrows were. I don’t know how I could’ve missed it before, but the hairs were perfectly arched and the lighter tint under the brow bone was a surefire sign of a recent waxing!

He whispered in my ear, “Hold me tight Robin.” I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on the only positive thing that I could think of, which at this point was his back, since that was by far the most masculine element left of him. I slid my hands under his shirt and let them glide slowly down, then I realized…he was wearing a thong!

“Excuse me Ma’am? This is the final boarding for flight 273, is everything alright?”

“Er, yes I’m fine. Just daydreaming is all.”

“Please follow the attendant and she’ll show you to your seat.”

As I make my way down the narrow aisle to my seat, I'm not sure which scares me more: Metro Mike’s doppelganger, or the idea of flying thousands of feet in the air.

Looking out the window and seeing nothing but clouds pretty much answers my question. Sigh. This is going to be a long flight.